Six things
we hold to.
Some of these are about the gatherings themselves. Some are about why we keep doing it. All of them are open to being argued with, preferably over dinner.
The right size for the conversation.
A dinner for twelve and a talk for forty are different shapes, but the principle is the same: small enough that the room can still hear itself think. We pick the format to fit the conversation, not the other way round. Small isn't the rule. Being able to listen is.
The schedule ends. The evening doesn't.
Talks and dinners have agendas. We honour them. But the actual reason we're there starts when the agenda finishes, when the plates are cleared, the slides are off, and the conversation finally has room to wander. That's the sobremesa. We protect it.
Honest about money, modest about logos.
Gatherings cost something to put on, and we'd rather be transparent about that than pretend otherwise. When events charge, it's at cost: what you pay covers food, venue, the kitchen's time, and that's it. If we ever take support from a partner, we'll say who, why, and what they get out of it. We'd just rather the room be the thing people remember, not the banners on the wall.
The table gets better when it changes shape.
The best conversations happen when familiar faces sit next to unfamiliar ones, not because everyone needs to be a stranger, but because something opens up when the room isn't already sorted. If this is your first time, this table is yours. If it isn't, pull up another chair.
Phones quieter, attention warmer.
We don't make rules about phones. We just notice that the evenings are better when they're face-down on the table. We don't livestream, we don't ask for hashtags, and we're slow to take group photos. If you want to remember someone, write to them later. There's usually a small pile of postcards somewhere in the room.
Hosting is shared.
Pato and Miki organize, but a Sobremesa evening only works because everyone in the room is a little bit hosting too. Bring a bottle, bring a story, bring a question you've been chewing on. If someone needs the floor, give it to them. If someone's quiet, make room for them. It's not heavy lifting; it's just paying attention.